By Camille Mercogliano
Dog Decisions and Job Transitions
I married my college sweetheart several years ago, and moved into a cute little house in Kismet. We loved the feeling of “being away” year round. Two years ago we got a puppy, Nate, who we both really love. He travels back and forth with us when we go to work and stays at a puppy-sitting house until we are ready to go home. Not long after we got the puppy we figured we’d try to get pregnant, but so far it has not happened. We have been seeing a doctor and have recently decided to try in vitro.
Last month I noticed a lump on Nate’s back. We took him to the vet and found out it is a cancerous tumor. It has already cost us close to $2,000 just for the diagnosis. The vet told us it could be as much as $8,000 to treat him. We are devastated.
My husband and I have not been able to see eye to eye on this. I want to do whatever is necessary to treat Nate. He feels like we have been trying so hard to save for the In-vitro therapy and we deplete our account savings to pay the vet instead. While I understand how he feels, how can we do nothing?
Now our marriage has become a battleground. I love my husband, but his lack of compassion for our dog has become a real turn-off to me. He accuses me of indifference about having his child, but that isn’t true either. Please help!
Just Love My Puppy!!
Dear Just Love My Puppy,
Of course you love your puppy. He has been your “four-legged” child for a couple of years now. I can also understand your husband’s view as having a “human” baby is also something you both want. In vitro can become very costly especially if none of it is covered by your insurance.
Is the treatment for Nate is a definite cure? Ask your vet how far along is the cancer is, and what are the chances of success? He could give you a better idea of what your options are. Can they give you any discounts directly from their office? There are also something called Care Credit Cards that are offered in most veterinarian offices that one can apply for to help finance large medical bills for pets. Explore this option if the tumor is operable, but if treatment will only give Nate a month or two, perhaps it would be better to let him live out his time loving and being loved by you without having to endure surgery or medication.
In the meantime, don’t lose sight of the love you and your husband have for each other. Fighting over this will not help solve anything. You are both right in your thinking. Now try to combine all of your thoughts and concerns to come up with the best solution.
I started a new job about three months ago after working a job I loved and left. The decision to change jobs was made as a chance to earn more money and opportunity for advancement in the future, but now I question my decision.
I used to feel like a master at my craft. Now since starting over I have my good and bad days, and my confidence is not there. Some days I feel like I can learn anything and am unstoppable. On other days, I just feel defeated and have a lack of confidence at work, and I miss my old job terribly. To be honest I’m second guessing my decision.
I come home more exhausted and work is no longer my refuge.
I do have several more months of leave to change my mind, what should I do?
Dear Seeking Balance,
It is normal to feel uncomfortable at the beginning of any kind of change. After working somewhere for years where you had probably been the big fish in a little pond, moving to a new environment with all new people, you are bound to feel more like a small fish in a big pond now. You don’t say if this change involved a whole new type of job, or a similar job to the one you had. If it is a completely new career that could also cause some sort of anxiety.
Unfortunately, the more you feel this lack of confidence, the more it will grow and get out of control. If you don’t get a hold of your feelings, this defeated feeling will begin to get bigger and bigger, taking on a life of its’ own.
Try to remember your confidence and the thoughts you had in the first place, the ones that that led you to explore new territory. You have been successful at your craft. Believe in yourself.
Try to take a step back and evaluate your situation with an unbiased eye. Do you feel that your performance is lacking? If so, make the necessary changes. If not, cut yourself some slack and relax. The more you believe in yourself, the better you will do.
As for being more tired now, I think that is all a part of the struggle you are feeling. As you become more confident your stamina will also grow. Give it a few more months before falling back on your tried and true job. Use the security of this knowledge as the security you need to keep trudging on. You can do this….
Looking for advice? Ask Camirose at firstname.lastname@example.org. Names and locations are changed to protect the privacy of individuals mentioned.