By Camille Mercogliano
I met the best guy. He is super sweet, successful and totally hot. We live in Manhattan but came out to Ocean Beach for a weekend getaway. We have been dating for about two weeks, and this was to be our first hook-up night. In anticipation of the big night, I got myself a full Brazilian, a spray tan and a $150 bikini. When we got ready to go to the beach I couldn’t wait to see how he looked. He comes out wearing a nice pair of board shorts, but clearly he never heard of the word manscape. It really pisses me off that guys expect women to look good and well groomed, but then will walk around like a gorilla, with back, stomach and arm hair, thinking girls will find them attractive. Why do men think that they can get away with not taking the time to look good? I mean, it was such a turn off. He had so much hair on his body that it looked like he was wearing a ski sweater. If I wanted to snuggle with a bear I’d have gone to the zoo. If women walked around covered in body hair it would not be considered socially acceptable or physically desirable. Needless to say, his lack of grooming resulted in him not getting any play that night. Can you please let men know that grooming is a two-way street and manscaping is now a minimal expectation?
— Wool is for Sweaters
I am not sure why grooming is a two-way street. Some women really don’t mind this look, but luckily a lot of men get it, and groom themselves. I do not know why your gentleman didn’t know this. Based on the end result of the weekend, it seems likely that he is no longer your gentleman. Were you able to convey your feelings to him in a way that he could accept and not feel embarrassed? Maybe you could have talked about it and given him another chance. After all, you did say he was super sweet, successful and totally hot. Either way, hopefully he heard you, and will be able to address these issues for his next encounter.
Recently I went into a local vendor and was shopping and overheard two young salesladies speaking about another shop on the island in the most unflattering way. I approached these young women and stated that I was uncomfortable with their comments about the other store, and that if the owner of the store knew what they were doing and in front of customers he probably would not like it. One of the girls said, “‘Well you’re wrong because I AM the owner and I stand by what I am saying about the other business.” I told her it was wrong to do, it made me uncomfortable and that I may bring my business elsewhere. Her reply was, “Okay no problem. DO IT!” To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Should I let others know who and what and where this happened?? I am not the only ‘local’ who shops there.
Bad mouthing others never makes us look better. Is what they are saying true, and would their statements harm the other business? If so, you could mention to the other store owner that you’ve heard people complaining about whatever the problem is, in the hopes that they can correct the problem before they lose patrons. If, on the other hand, what the girls were saying was just nonsense, maybe you can just let it go. However, if this is a continual trashing of the other business for no reason maybe it should be straightened out, if you are compelled to do so. But I’ll tell you this – if you are the bearer of the news it could blow up in your face. I’d think long and hard about what my motive was for involving myself. Unfortunately people do not always own up to things they’ve said, or plain outright lie. I would proceed with caution!
Names and locations have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Questions for Camirose? Write to her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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